btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
