and you said cock pushups were impossible
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
