True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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