If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
two words...techno handjob
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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