But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
