Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
