just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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