wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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