Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize