I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
