Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
