Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
