Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
