Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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