Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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