So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
