Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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