I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
