I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
