Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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