definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I need to calm my uterus...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
