3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize