Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
