please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
