so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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