So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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