why didn't you poke me back
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
