where does the pee come out of this thing
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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