oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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