Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
