so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
