with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
