uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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