My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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