just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I just put wine in my tea
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
