Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
