I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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