I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
