You made me cry and you don't even care
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hippo gnu deer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
