I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
