Your dad touched me again.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
they're like a gay fantastic four
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
