the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
