I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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