I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
