Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
