White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
