just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
