nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
