better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
