in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
