Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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