Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
