Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
