whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
