so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let's get the cat blown out
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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