i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
