I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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