Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
