Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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