dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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